Crash Test Dummy

When two people get married 
The groom should change his name
They should call him "Crash Test Dummy"
But now the bride, she can stay the same

When a man marries a woman
And she don't how to cook
He has to test them recipes
Made out of some dumb book

Of course, that means food poisoning
And a trip to the emergency room
Remember I said, "Crash Test Dummy"
Cause he's no longer the groom

And if she ever asks him
If she's getting fat
He'll probably be wearing a helmet
To protect him from her baseball bat

And now that leaves his mother-in-law
The biggest danger he's seen yet
For when she comes to visit
It's something he'll never forget

That's why we call him "Crash Test Dummy"
Because marriage is a pretty rough ride
He's gotta buckle up and hold on tight
When he marries his beloved bride
Copyright © | Year Posted 2010

Poem

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March 4, 2010 at 2:56 PM
Great, great, great!
A  Avatar
March 3, 2010 at 8:22 PM
wow... loved this one... crash test dummy indeed... loved your write
Arteaga Avatar
March 3, 2010 at 1:36 PM
haha i already cook for my boyfriend and he enjoys my cooking so if we were to wed i think he'll be just fine :p fun poem! :D
Devonshire Avatar
March 3, 2010 at 1:01 PM
Had a good laugh reading this one, Larry! Very funny! When my mom cooked and served her first meal to my dad, she accidentally used soap flakes instead of potato flakes to make "mashed potatoes." Although he never said one word of complaint, when mom tasted the food, she was mortified. It's a family legend that evokes as much laughter as your witty poem! Love, Carolyn
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