Cowperson versus Jaws

I went to the Hollywood studio meeting Paul, Steve and Sandy gave me a warm greeting I was there to advise them, hired from Spain My motto in business was no pain, no gain So we sat down to the business at hand Their movies were sinking, like stones in quicksand. "How about a cowboy movie," I said... "Good guys and bad guys with the latter shot dead!" A gasp of wonder spread to them all "Why didn't we think of that?" said Paul Said Sandy, who though rich, struck me as obtuse "It has to be woke, it must have juice The cowboy, we'll call him Abdul McPherson No, wait, we should refer to him as a CowPerson His love interest should be black or brown A birthing person, the soul of the town The villains name could be Donald McKnight A Donald Trump stand-in, got to be white." "Wait," said Steve, "cis-male is a relic." Abdul should be tender, gender-fluid and angelic." Steve looked at his reflection in the table of mahogany Added "How about hints of consensual non-monogamy?" Sandy said "No! We must push the edge with our fans! Every character, even the horse, must be trans!" I was sarcastic, I said "for a true creative spark We know Spielberg had a hit long ago about a shark, Maybe stick one in the film, somewhere in the sagebrush A gasp spread around the table, an awestruck hush Paul shouted, "that's it! Cowperson versus Jaws! A fable about transgressing natures laws! Lets start shooting tomorrow, drop that Batman remake: With this kind of theme, we can't make a mistake!" Despite guaranteed payment, I was feeling sick I already knew there was no hope for this flick But they got so thrilled, they made their bet Sunk investor millions, their studio further in debt. I gathered my fees, went back to Spain And "Cowperson versus Jaws" circled down the drain To my horror in the credits, they mentioned my name I was jeered in Madrid, couldn't face the shame. Paul, Steve and Sandy did fine at the bank Woke investors kept funding, though the movie stank Though audiences felt under a dentist's drill The Critics said the movie was epic, groundbreaking, a thrill. Geologists say that one day, California will fall into the sea Its already happened; Hollywood is a parody Showdown at Noon but no Gary Cooper, can't find John Wayne Woke Bandits have stolen the gold off the movie train.