Cowboy Slim's Five-Dollar Hat

Slim's cowboy hat warn't no fancy Stetson, that's fer shore! He'd paid five smackeroos fer it in a Sears 'n' Roebuck store. But it served him jes as well through his cowboyin' years, Roundin' up, ropin' 'n' brandin' cantankerous longhorn steers. It didn't have no fancy rattlesnake band er feathers in its crown, But its droopy brim shaded his mug when the sun came bearin' down. It'd been stomped on, rained on 'n' sweat-stained 'n' looked a fright, Drug through manure 'n' mud, well-stained from its original white! Besides protectin' his vulnerable skull from the rain, snow 'n' hail, He found many creative uses fer the old hat ridin' a cowpoke's trail. It was useful fer feedin' oats to his long-sufferin' horse, old Nell, And dippin' drinkin' water from a stream - it served both of them well. It held water fer Slim when he took an occasional shave, And I 'spose could've been used fer a much-needed lave! It was good fer swattin' flies 'n' mus-skeeters from Slim's face, And givin' Nell a whack on her rump when givin' dogies chase. The hat shaded Slim's face from the sun when takin' a snooze, But it shore got in the way when with his gal he desired to schmooze! When he came to the end of the trail the hat was buried with him. St Pete said, "Howdy! But we gotta do somethin' 'bout yer hat, Slim!"