Cow Gas
This is for Andrea D. who asked for my Cow Gas poems. I have at least one more to
post. Look for California Cows. Mike
Cow Gas
I’m putting my cows all on Beano
With the veggies they eat – oh the gas
Eight hundred plus liters of methane
Each day through each cow does pass
Either that or get funnels and tubing
To capture the gas when it comes
And convert my gas guzzling auto
So on methane alone will it run
If cows can do it, why can’t I
A tube, a tank, and by and by
I’ll generate enough to fry
A burger on my grill
While it won’t get me very far
Were my gas used to run a car
The world would label me a star
For doing what I will
But if everyone would do their part
To capture each and every fart
That through your system did depart
Global Warming would be a chill
Mdailey
Researchers say the slow digestive system of cows makes them a producer of
methane, a potent greenhouse gas that gets far less public attention than carbon
dioxide in efforts to fight global warming. When we got the first results, we were
surprised. Thirty per cent of Argentina's (total greenhouse) emissions could be
generated by cows,' said Guillermo Berra, a researcher at the National Institute of
Agricultural Technology. Berra said the researchers 'never thought' a cow weighing
550 kg (1,210 lb) could produce 800 to 1,000 litres (28 to 35 cubic feet) of emissions
each day. Greenhouse gases are widely blamed for causing global warming.
Methane, researchers say, is 23 times more potent than carbon dioxide in trapping
heat in the atmosphere.
We can probably do the same with the typical human male. It would be no less
complicated and probably no more uncomfortable than a colostomy bag. And while
the typical male may not generate enough gas to run an auto, it should be enough
to run a gas grill on the weekends. Think of the savings and the contribution you
would be making to the war on global warming. As you all know, girls do not pass
gas (or so they tell me) so only the male species would be able to contribute in this
manner.
Copyright © Mike Dailey | Year Posted 2011
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