Cougar

You can’t iron something that’s wrinkled
She’s lived ninety years in this skin
She’d popped in her teeth and she’d tinkled
This birthday she ain’t staying in

Her gout and arthritis were giving her grief
But tonight she intended to flirt
Doc Martens and knickers a long way from brief
Fish nets and a very short skirt

She went to a bar full of pushing and shoving
And eyed a young guy in the queue
She winked and she said if you’re after some loving
I’d whip off my bloomers for you




27 November 2020
For: Make Me Laugh With Some Humour contest
Sponsor: Tania Kitchin
Copyright © | Year Posted 2020

Poem

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Roper Avatar
December 20, 2020 at 10:07 PM
Congratulations on your win, Terry , enjoyed reading. Hugs Eve
Flood Avatar
December 21, 2020 at 1:28 AM
Thanks Eve, glad you enjoyed. Terry
Flood Avatar
December 21, 2020 at 1:24 AM
Thanks Eve, glad you enjoyed. Terry
Wolf Avatar
December 20, 2020 at 6:32 PM
Terrific, Terry! Blooming hilarious! Congrats on your #1 winner in Tania's contest. Richly deserved. Season's best! ~ Gershon
Flood Avatar
December 21, 2020 at 1:27 AM
Thanks, Gershon. aarrrgh! I just had to correct a spellcheck intervention. It changed your name to Gershwin... if that’s happened elsewhere... apologies. Thanks. Terry
Callus Avatar
December 20, 2020 at 1:05 AM
Wow...some people never really grow old, do they!!:) Congratulations on your top win. Regards & season's greetings. // paul
Flood Avatar
December 20, 2020 at 1:11 AM
Hi Paul. Thanks for the ‘Wow’. All the best for the season to you too. Terry
Dietrich Avatar
December 19, 2020 at 6:29 PM
Love this one about the hot granny. Congrats, Terry
Flood Avatar
December 20, 2020 at 1:08 AM
Thanks, Andrea. Have a great Christmas.
Allison Avatar
December 19, 2020 at 4:33 PM
oh what a giggle Terry and how amazing that we both wrote about nonagenarians enjoying life to the full lol:-) many congrats on your win:-) hugs Jan xx
Flood Avatar
December 19, 2020 at 4:40 PM
Thanks Jan. What is it they say... Growing old is inevitable: growing up is optional. If I had a mantra, that’d be it. Thanks again, Jan. Terry
Y. Avatar
December 19, 2020 at 2:37 PM
Hi Terry, This is hilarious! Congratulations on your top win. Merry Christmas a Happy New Year:-) Alexis
Flood Avatar
December 19, 2020 at 4:41 PM
Thanks Alexis. And all the best to you too. Terry
Goldsmith Avatar
December 19, 2020 at 9:17 AM
Congratulations on your win. "Funny" I would love to see a 4 legged cougar in bloomers walk into that place. Enjoy your win with blessings......................
Flood Avatar
December 19, 2020 at 10:53 AM
Thank you Paula. I’m just glad that ‘Bloomers’ crosses the Atlantic in tact. Apologies for coming up two legs short. Terry
Rodrigues Avatar
December 19, 2020 at 6:39 AM
So funny Terry! Congratulations on top win!
Flood Avatar
December 19, 2020 at 7:17 AM
Thanks Kim.
Radice Avatar
December 19, 2020 at 3:22 AM
Reminds me of someone I met at a - what the locals called - "Grab A Granny" night in a Liverpool club once. Congratulations on your win :)
Flood Avatar
December 19, 2020 at 7:20 AM
I went to one of those clubs... everyone was trying to grab ME!!! Now that’s not very nice is it? Thanks Gary Terry
Kitchin Avatar
December 19, 2020 at 3:11 AM
Terry, congratulations on your first place win with your hilarious poem, made me laugh!
Flood Avatar
December 19, 2020 at 7:21 AM
Thanks Tania... I’m always happy to accept ‘Hilarious’ Terry
Krutsinger Avatar
November 26, 2020 at 4:44 PM
I can clearly see her. She is a relative. Fun read!
Flood Avatar
November 26, 2020 at 4:48 PM
Actually Caren... she’s my mum. Only kidding. Thanks Caren.
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