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Conversations With My Inner

Teach me how to cry
So that when it hurts I may be able to untangle what pain lies between the angles of my arteries
I want to excrete what is obsolete
To pave way for the exit of that which makes me incomplete
I want, 
To never hold on to what could have been
Or what I imagine with crippling confusion may somehow... become
Rid me - of inexplicable intrusion
The kind where I can not comprehend 
how a piece of entice consumes my insides only for it to shrivel up and die before my inner eye coincides with my mind to make sense of why the though of it was so intense
Give me the wisdom to reject pretence

Let all that is not meant to be leave me
Fill me with the kind of something it takes to embrace what is real, even when my perfectly constructed fantasies are hot on its heals
Give me strength
To no longer just inhale to survive
Teach me how to breathe so that I may find release on those days when even a sigh is out of reach

Share with me what women were given to thrive on those days when the heaviest clouds burdened skies and it seemed,
That even heaven had fallen deaf to her desperate pleas for a little bit of sunshine

Hand me, my generous dose of what its take to make women  smile on those days when the knives in their chests pierced the very place where they're faith was set to emerge
Where, the pain was so fierce that each time they heaved they're  bitter tears were met with a lukewarm sorry at best

And when my heart is left in pieces
Guide my soul to where His peace is

I pray for my dreams to never shut their eyes or hide
I pray that nothing ever beats me cos I never tried
I pray that I find truth where reality lies
That I may learn to sift through the dirt and discover, what little bit of bliss is mine

Tell them I did it
Tell them when possibility was no longer revered I was the one who pushed beyond fear
Tell them that I will dream until the oceans reject the streams
Tell them I did it
Tell them I dreamed

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