Contradiction

Civil War? How can that be? I am 19, in green, surrounded by others, all green Scared, afraid to show it, shaking beneath this garb In my head this question runs round and round How can war be civil, a heady contradiction I want no part of this conundrum Yet I made the choice and took the risk The coin landed wrong and here I am And now all I see, feel, is the drive to stay whole To get home, to see mother, to survive And so, on the wall, I make another mark To add another day 89 to go Belfast 1980