Contradicting darkness

I sit here in this darkness, this place that feels so raw. Where the world is falling down around me and I feel I just cant take this anymore. yet here is a contradiction, that this place i sit with a life of pain inside me… it also brings me a feeling of openness and honesty and a place where I feel creatively free. If it were not for this you would not see inside of me. This dark place is where I can openly speak the thousands of words tumbling around and feel un judged. Unspoken words and repressed feelings, thoughts and un dealt with meanings. Shame, sadness, pain and torment, all released from their heavily shackled cage, to surface and relieve me of the tormented painful rage. Every time I feel this way I am my most creative at least in words. So this place you see as dark is something I cannot give up, for you will not see my inside heart.