Contemplating

I need time by myself just to sort things out I need to walk on God's narrow route I'm hoping I won't disappoint Him by biting the bullet...he will marinate me with his miracles and drive away doom His forgiveness is a spotlight I look upon during times of hardship and gloom Commotion fills my ears for many years, but I can't make up what they say You are as bright as tomorrow, but I'm as dark as yesterday Often, I would contemplate on turning that around someday I pray for unity with peaceful individuals and find the answers in God's Holy Bible...I feel the need to make cliques with other people my age But my sheepish, strange nature and my low self-worth reduces me to rage It feels like, when I'm around others, I feel like I'm not on the same page Oh Lord, I want to belong I want to belong I need to belong Freedom is so, so far away Freedom is so far away I turn away in utter dismay Today isn't my greatest day I pray I won't fall prey to my bipolar days I long for praise and recognition on a daily basis I want to stay in one place, but we go our separate ways I am in chains in the pit of my alienated abstract abyss What is right and wrong? What is right and wrong? What is right and wrong when I am always led astray? I'm not having my way today, so I weep during a gray day I catch a glimpse of a blue jay...I feel better I must say But what goes up must come down But, soon enuff, I will wear an upside down frown In my happy-go-lucky, sun-drenched spirits, I will drown I will seek California's grand sunlight To block out the contemplation of delightlessness Give me perpetual might tonight I wish someone or He could rinse away my hopelessness For now, I will contemplate on the positives, Not the negatives...who gives, who really gives Because, in my young heart, childlike happiness lives It lives on...right when a good song is on the radio Right on!! Rock on till the break of dawn and dance with the wind...go with your own flow and keep your spirits' unique, gracious glow