Consequences of Infatuation

out of everything that i’ve ever been told in my life out of all the things that have been said to me that render me obligated to shove a coy smile and an aloof “thank you” into the hands of whoever was speaking, the heartfelt anecdotes that have stuck with me the most are the ones to have been branded and signed by you the way you worded them made me sound so much more valuable than anything i’ve ever heard before the focal point being “you’re the kind of person someone leaves their entire life behind for” and what bloomed from the seeds you planted in my garden is something i thought i’d never lose something i’d tried to protect so heavily perhaps too heavily but now i must ask, are you as comfortable with her in your arms are you claimed to be in mine? do you miss her warmth on nights you’re alone in your own bed? or is it mine that you sought after at 5am? have you said things to her that even remotely resemble the things you’ve said to me? or did you just copy and paste? do you still expect me to believe that i meant anything different to anything you’ve felt with her, when your claim to be too busy in your head actually meant too busy in her bed? did you think i was being playful when i told you that i’m always aware of when i am being deceived. had you taken me seriously the first time perhaps i wouldn’t be straining myself trying not to completely push you away. under any other circumstances i would’ve had to remind you that no matter what you do and no matter what i say, you will always be weak for me but you already know that and that is going to be the end of us both. ~ r.a