Confessions To a Bartender
The weight on my shoulders and burdens I carry
Are straight from the mouths of Tom Dick and Harry
The end of their day, their highlight in life
is a swift, cheeky pint before home to their wife
But somehow this pint never ends at just one
A sip of their nectar, goes on and on
Then before they know it they swagger and sway
And proceed to engage in what happened today
The stories I've heard I doubt you'd believe
Your eyes they would water, your ears they would bleed
They turn the air blue with their scandalous tails
of romps in the toilets, the bike sheds, hay bales
These fables of back seats, cinema or car
fumbles with bosses, winks from the vicar!
And its not just the men who blab while I work
Sometimes it's ladies who dish the most dirt
Their tales of revenge, dog food in stew
Use hubby's toothbrush to clean out the loo
Hell hath no fury like women peed off
They share all their secrets when they've had enough
Of their old men escaping to me after work
But they always get caught, they run out of luck
I feel like the spare part in everyone's marriage
Passing on messages like notes on a fridge
But I can't complain, I get all the goss
I keep women's secrets at every man's loss
24 October 2011
Copyright © Jodie Williams | Year Posted 2011
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