Comfort and Joy

It’s with heavy heart I pen this verse Watching your father pass by in the hearse Takes me back to that night in the shed When you said, this is like fireworks It was, I dropped the cigarette on the petrol can Still, as I remarked, not many sheds get a technicolour funeral He was beyond reason Not helped when rumours of por*o magazines started circulating He told me straight, marry my daughter and I’ll kill myself So we married in haste But he didn’t keep his promise What a waste Still, when that great oak fell on top of his new shed I had a grin from ear to ear It was like the chainsaw massacre, but more fun It was about that time you found god I found your sister You forgave me, I was weak She was pregnant, sixteen weeks Your dad went mad, he said I was the devil incarnate Then he dropped dead They looked at me in horror, in dread Like it was something I said Do something they cried I didn’t know any songs, so I punched him between the eyes He was definitely dead I carried the coffin The least I could do I shed a tear, maybe two We decided to scatter his ashes over his pride and joy But they couldn’t be found The crematorium were in shock, people were running around It was like he just disappeared I was agog Couldn’t see the mist for the smog Later that day, just to console I produced a big rocket Really his soul I set it off, and said goodbye They had a little cry It climbed high in the sky They gave a sigh Should it not explode Well it is supposed to go with a bang Just then it made its descent It was like he was heaven sent Plummeting to earth Mad as hell We all dived for cover Just as well She screamed, oh god, oh boy No need to tell you where he landed Okay then His comfort and joy.