Coldhearted

I feel this every day, Even when people pass away. A mix of guilt for not being able to cry, Not understanding why. How can I not feel pain, Is this what they call vain? I do not know how to show how much I care, At times I feel as though it isn't fair. Why cry for someone already dead, Have you not heard what the priests have said? You have done nothing wrong, Why cry and mourn for so long? They left you so much, They're the ones who will watch. And feel guilt when you cry, Asking god, wondering why. Maybe I am cold hearted, But I'm who god created. Why should I cry for a soul I'll never see, When they know I love them and they love me.