Cocktail Party

Cocktail parties are an entrenched American custom, I suppose. A forum to spew inane babble and where the booze freely flows! I've suffered through more of them than I care to recall, And I try to avoid them like the flu - they drive me up the wall! Alas, an invite arrives and a firm decree from my spouse ensues! "We're going!" I didn't even have a chance to voice my views! This one to celebrate some guy's retirement or something or other. I wish they'd include me out - I have little time for such pother! I retreat to a corner of the room with my drink to gaze about and pout, But bless my soul, invariably a gregarious boor always seeks me out, Regaling me nose-to-nose with tedious trifle I really don't want to hear. I dodge and parry with him but he insists on bending my weary ear! I strive to be tolerant when such occasions beckon. And I'm reasonably adept at observing social niceities, I reckon, But that uncouth, sotted boozer bent on a gargantuan toot, Makes me a bit fractious since he also spilled hooch on my suit! I've heard more about his kids and job than I want to know, The latest obscene jokes and how his investments are sure to grow! Thankfully, his spouse appears and notes his besotted condition, And graciously rescues me from his boring, wearisome rendition! Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired © All Rights Reserved