Cockney Geezer

I was born within the sound of Bow bells in the east end of London, this makes me a true cockney, I own a cock and sparrow down by the shake and shiver, I sell april showers, I duke of kent my pope in rome, I owe my landlady a lot of bread and honey for my duke of kent due to me spending it on getting elephants trunk most nights, luckily she enjoys a bubble bath, so unlike my trouble and strife she doesn’t bang on about it, in fact sometimes I can’t adam and eve it, I’m the only artful dodger she never darby and joans at, though she sometimes says if I carry on I will be brown bread before my time, my other job is at the old bull and bush, our local battlecruiser, where I tickle the ivories on the old aunt Joanna which earns me a lady godiver plus tips, my bakers dozen helps with the sing along, she got flaming red barnet fair, she’s nearly always brahms and liszt which ended up in her doing bird lime, anyway I’v got to use my loaf of bread if I’m going to land on my plates of meat, must get myself out of this pony and trap, it would make me tom and dick to think people thought I was a tea leaf, never been in barney rubble, never been in front of the Barnaby rudge, so I’m not going to get my alan whickers in a twist or get myself in a two and eight over whats said by my trouble and strife, there’s no point in having a darby and joan, tonight me and my china plate are going to see his cow and kisses, pick up a dicky dirt, a pair of dinky doos, and daisy roots, wash my boat race with some fragrant bob hope, then we will hit the frog and toad get a ruby murray, end up with an empty sky rocket, then I will be back at square one with no brown bread to pay my duke of kent, well who gives a tom tit. Bow bell are the bells of Mary-le-bow Cheapside London England. Cock and sparrow market stall (barrow Shake and shiver river (Thames) April showers flowers Pope of rome home Bread and honey money Elephants trunk drunk Bubble bath laugh Trouble and strife wife Adam and eve believe Artful dodger lodger Brown bread dead Battlecruiser boozer (pub) Bakers dozen cousin Barnet fair hair Brahms and liszt drunk Bird lime time in prison Loaf of bread head Plates of meat feet Pony and trap crap Tom and dick sick tea leaf thief Barney rubble trouble Barnaby rudge judge Alan whickers knickers two and eight in a state Darby and joan moan china plate mate Cow and kisses missus (wife) dicky dirt shirt Dinky doos shoes daisy roots boots Boat race face bob hope soap Frog and toad road ruby murray curry Sky rocket pocket tom tit s**t.