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I was born within the sound of Bow bells in the east end of London, this makes me a true cockney, I own a cock and sparrow down by the shake and shiver, I sell april showers, I duke of kent  my pope in rome, I owe my landlady a lot of bread and honey for my duke of kent due to me spending it on getting elephants trunk most nights, luckily she enjoys a bubble bath, so unlike my trouble and strife she doesn’t bang on about it, in fact sometimes I can’t  adam and eve it, I’m the only artful dodger she never darby and joans at,  though she sometimes says if I carry on I will be brown bread before my time, my other job is at the old bull and bush, our local battlecruiser, where I tickle the ivories on the old aunt Joanna which earns me a lady godiver plus tips, my bakers dozen helps with the sing along, she got flaming red barnet fair, she’s nearly always brahms and liszt which ended up in her doing bird lime, anyway I’v got to use my loaf of bread if I’m going to land on my plates of meat, must get myself out of this pony and trap, it would make me tom and dick to think people thought I was a tea leaf, never been in barney rubble, never been in front of the Barnaby rudge, so I’m not going to get my alan whickers in a twist or get myself in a two and eight over whats said by my trouble and strife, there’s no point in having a darby and joan, tonight me and my china plate are going to see his cow and kisses, pick up a dicky dirt, a pair of dinky doos, and daisy roots, wash my boat race with some fragrant bob hope, then we will hit the frog and toad get a ruby murray,  end up with an empty sky rocket, then I will be back at square one with no brown bread to pay my duke of kent, well who gives a tom tit.

Bow bell are the bells of Mary-le-bow Cheapside London England.

Cock and sparrow   market stall (barrow
Shake and shiver    river (Thames)        April showers        flowers
Pope of rome          home                     Bread and honey   money
Elephants trunk      drunk                     Bubble bath           laugh
Trouble and strife    wife                       Adam and eve       believe
Artful dodger          lodger                    Brown bread          dead
Battlecruiser           boozer (pub)          Bakers dozen         cousin                      
Barnet fair              hair                       Brahms and liszt    drunk
Bird lime                 time in prison        Loaf of bread         head
Plates of meat         feet                       Pony and trap        crap
Tom and dick          sick                        tea leaf                 thief
Barney rubble         trouble                   Barnaby rudge       judge
Alan whickers         knickers                  two and eight        in a state
Darby and joan      moan                      china plate            mate 
Cow and kisses      missus (wife)           dicky dirt              shirt
Dinky doos            shoes                      daisy roots            boots
Boat race              face                         bob hope              soap
Frog and toad        road                        ruby murray         curry
Sky rocket             pocket                     tom tit                 s**t.
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