Sarah Cope Poet Free verse

Clarity through static 12,06,26

My messed-up mind has always been messy,
A hundred voices talking at once about anything and everything:
The Parsi, the Persian, perhaps the weather,
Or evergreen jakkalsbessies.

Clarity and clear thinking weren't happening;
Chaos and confusion were rife
In a mind so messy.

A hurricane of ideas, but no focus to execute them,
A whirlwind of thoughts, but unable to prioritise them,
Reams and reams of paper filled with to-do lists,
Yet no executive function to begin them.

Trying to navigate life this way was exhausting.
It affected everyone and everything around me;
Doing anything became daunting,
And all I could do was keep apologising
As I tried to navigate this labyrinth called life.

Without the necessary tools for the journey—
No map, no compass, no GPS to guide me.

This was my mind, my life, until I turned thirty-three.
Then a miracle was sent to me:
A doctor, and a diagnosis of ADHD.

In finding and understanding the truth,
I gained clarity through the static.
It was like finding a lighthouse in the fog,
A safe haven, symbolic of everything I had been seeking.

Things soon changed.
From that moment on, I became pragmatic.
I could see the path through the thicket.
With the right help, I started seeing clearly;
I started excelling,
Even when everything around me felt noisy,
Chaotic, and overwhelming.

And although my thoughts still sometimes feel scattered,
Or full of static,
Moments of exceptional focus,
Creativity, and insight still emerge,
Though often sporadic.

So although my mind is often full of static,
I can find clarity through it.
It feels like magic.

I've found a way to seek clarity
Without removing the static;
It emerges through it,
Like a signal through the noise,
Though occasionally there's still interference.

But a messy mind will never be completely mess-free.
There will always be some clutter to tidy up.
Yet I've learned to live with it,
And no longer mistake my differences
For something that needs fixing.

Im still yet to hyper focused on OCD. Where cleanliness is a main priority.

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