Choose To Run Or Stay

For Anoucheka Gangabissoon
I chose to run but what would have
thing's been like if I had stayed 
30 / 10 / 2022

After my Dad received his Cancer diagnosis

Later when he was eventually ready to
do so he gathered all of us his family
together and told us

And half the way through him telling us I
myself had already in my head and
heart begun to plot my escape and run away

Because that is what I do and sum's me
and who I am up ever so succinctly 

And that is exactly what I did I got on
an aeroplane as fast as I possibly
could and flew away because I
couldn't run that far

Then I got that dreaded phone call from 
my mum telling me if I wished to see
him before he's gone I had better
come home immediately 

As his time was running out quickly
It was time to make our peace because
he is about to meet his maker

So I came back and I am so glad I did
because that may well be the best thing
I ever did and also the very best quality
time we ever actually spent 

And quite frankly I was embarrassed and
should rightly have been told and been met
with vitriol by him and my mom who
had taken such dedicated loving care of him 

But what difference would i have made
if I had have chosen to stay and not run away

Being brutality truthfully honest to myself
probably none not a 1 single iota thing
would have probably have changed 
at all or I made better

Otherwise I would have probably stayed
and never left at all

You see that's just me in a nutshell 
sill up until this day

Always, always 
Running away
Never towards
Or staying

My dad always said of me I chose
to play in goal because I hated or
didn't like running and boy was he
right

Unless it came to dealing with the
realities of life itself

Then I became a world record holder
champion who could never be caught
you only ever seen the back of me

But unfortunately it's more akin to a
criminal record not 1 to be proud of
or look back with any form of pride

And for which sorry means little or
nothing at all because he deserved
far better than that

But he died I can't run away from that 
or made it better if I had have chosen
to stay either way
Copyright © | Year Posted 2022

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Kavanagh  Avatar
October 31, 2022 at 3:40 PM
Christopher we are what we are, at any given point in our lives, you ran away but still came back, fight or flight no, I’d say it was more fright and flight, we cannot change the past, what happened happened and could not have happened any other way, except in our minds, A potent brave verse from you, cheers David
Flaherty Avatar
November 1, 2022 at 10:32 AM
Cheers thank you very much indeed David Sir always look forward to your replies and comments. Correct most definitely fright and flight in equal measure.
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