Chocolate Girl

Poet's Notes

(Show)

Become a Premium Member and post notes and photos about your poem like Silent One.

Her luxurious penthouse is like a cocoon with plenty of pretty distractions, so she keeps her door firmly closed, because she prefers fantasy over the handicap of reality. Afraid of light, her malingering mind, keeps her hidden inside. To shield her from the sun, she won't open the curtains, as she thinks it's certain, her mechanisms may melt. Shyness is her veiled excuse to separate her from society, But it's the anxiety, anxiety, anxiety! Preferring to be an option, rather than a priority her caution from socialising, breeds from the alarm bells, set from abandonment, betrayal and manipulation. Trust is her terrorist. People hunt like packs of wolves, devouring her mind like a candy snack. Fears of her heart are like an aeroplane, shaking from a turbulent storm, with her hopes forever crashing. Trying to forget in a flash of courage, she takes one step towards the door, but the noises in her head become louder, and Louder and LOUDER!!!! repeating, Repeating, REPEATING! Violent vibrations induce vertigo, silent screams screw with her sanity, struggling to breathe, feeling like air is being sucked out of her lungs, she vomits, collapsing to the floor. Nothing can take off the 'edge', the therapists do not work. There she remains in her internal prison, away from her eternal nightmares. Safe in her sanctuary, from engagement with stranger's eyes. Like a chocolate bar in her shiny wrapper, that looks so sweet but feels so darkly bitter.

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Yann Rolland

Date: 12/14/2023 3:56:00 PM

chocolate girls are so fragile, this is a splendid metaphor for moving brains, every image talks to me, vibrates, and made me more sensitive to poet condition, what a master piece, thanks poet

Sara Etgen-Baker

Date: 12/14/2023 2:55:00 PM

My heart extends to Chocolate Girl (brilliant term by the way)...someone who lives so fearfully afraid of sunlight and social contacts. I can image she does feel bitter and confused. You captured her essence with compelling imagery like 'internal prison.' Nicely executed, Sara

I Am Anaya

Date: 12/14/2023 1:50:00 PM

I feel sympathy for the chocolate girl. A dreadful way to live. She is climbing the walls as they say of her own mind, she will find the answers, and the sweetness missing as well. Everything is for a reason. I feel what you have written, compelling. I wish I had answers. I'm faving this piece Silent One! Sending blessings over in the UK ~Anaya

Ayesha Iqbal

Date: 12/14/2023 8:25:00 AM

Perfectly expressed for someone who is suffering from anxiety, more like social anxiety as I felt here.. I felt this piece to my core, though reasons of someone's anxiety can be different ans situation can be different, yet it preys the same on the peace of the one suffering from it. Sad, sad heartbreaking piece.. truly brilliantly inked!!

Ink Empress

Date: 12/14/2023 8:14:00 AM

You’ve written so well on anxiety, and described exactly how an individual that struggles with anxiety actually feel. Especially how you described that they keep curtains close, too comfortable in the darkness and also how you’ve written “ People hunt like packs of wolves, devouring her mind like a candy snack. Fears of her heart are like an aeroplane,“ you really have a creative way of describing such deep emotions! I love that but every line in this is soul hitting and so powerful! The ending

Ink Empress
Date: 12/14/2023 8:15:00 AM

Is beyond brilliant how you described “ Like a chocolate bar in her shiny wrapper,that looks so sweet but feels so darkly bitter.” Wow! I love that! And now i need literally some Chocolates . Another fave for me this is