A Note to Jan Allison I hope tis poem meets the standard of your definition of a limerick Blessings Douglas
The CHIROPRACTOR The chiropractor placed his client in traction His body it stretched just a fraction when treatment was stopped the body it popped Back into a state of contraction BOOMERS Two kangaroos were bouncing so high Joyously way up in the sky when eventually found they were deep underground Their bouncing hadn't taught them to fly GO PLAY YOUR HARP Good day I'm Edwina McLarp I have a husband who's nosy and sharp knows all that I do even the times that I poo How I wish he go twinkle his harp UNIVERSITY A Uni student many hours demanded to swot Sits on a chair is where he does squat most days he would run frees muscles in bum On return he's now sweaty and hot EMPLOYED IN A CANNERY You may have met Jenny McFannery Who's kind demure and mannerly undergrowth it may show if too long it does grow Everyday she works in a cannery RAISING THE FLAG The pirates just raised up their flag Perched on the pole there's a bird called a shag like to see her in action provide much satisfaction Three cheers for this bird called a shag A DAILY RITUAL Daily pleasure, disrobe expose my body to air A quick transition shorts and t-shirt don't don underwear much pleasure when cold on nudity I'm sold In sync with naked fauna that abound everywhere No hangups or shame for God's given gift If the body sags not seeking any form of uplift a body part inadvertently shows accept how it hangs or however it goes Self love for myself I've healed a great rift DON'T BE A GLUTTON The old fellow ate way too much fat and tough mutton Contorted the shape of his big belly button his stomach finally burst but he wasn't the first To suffer this fate as a glutton THE BLACKSMITH The smithy roars and bellows whilst pumping bellows These big strong and muscly young fellows every day bending steel for horseshoes or a wheel When met utters many fond hellos THE OLD GRAMOPHONE It's time to meet Alexander John Silas An expert with an old gramophone stylus from a cylinder there's sound when Beethoven is found He would listen to the news on a wireless CAN YOU DELIVER A man and woman took a walk in the woods She asked him can you deliver the goods an event nine months later she's become a young mater The result of him saying he could THE CAR IN REVERSE Accidently put the car in reverse Fortunately it wasn't adverse just in time hit the brake he now won't have to take A premature box ride in a shiny black hearse HIT THE SACK Look here comes Jenny and Jack Come to town from a long way outback travelled by car for miles way to far Fatigued they'll now head for the sack SLEEPS IN A WHEELIE BIN An introduction to this fellow called Justin Every night he sleeps in a dirty green dust bin a societal wide divide like Justin many others reside On the streets in a world has a side that's disgusting SHE WANTED A DAUGHTER A daughter desired son arrived named him Billie Always dressed him in clothes very frilly finally voice very gruff this transgender gear that's enough Out in public attired in dresses he always felt very silly HOITY TOITY Beryl had an attitude hoity toity You would think she could never be naughty an uncultured man met at a dance so many times he got into her pants She's now the great grandmother of forty
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