Get Your Premium Membership

Chill Evening Mist

He almost said it, that one sweet word, but a moment lost it would not stay. He reached for her hand, she lost in thought, pulled it back and looked away. Was she the beauty he had married young, or an illusion from a fairy's joke? Would the cold chill of the evening mist be waiting for him when he awoke? Pain in his head and strain in his heart felt like a clock that was losing time. Time had opened his eyes and he noticed that the long years had taken away her prime. "Nothing in common" was too late to say for their paths took a divergent route. Their anger was quiet and their words were sparse for they had nothing to talk about. He almost said it, that one mean thing, "Perhaps we should go our separate ways". He held his tongue, she gave a laugh, saying she'd be gone for at least five days. He was glad she'd be gone and happier still that he would not have to take all her crap. But the chill evening mist hanging over his head made him see he was caught in a trap.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2024




Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 3/28/2024 3:54:00 PM
Very creative and engaging poetry, Hilda. I enjoyed reading your poetry today. Thanks for sharing your thoughts through your poetry, my friend. I was just going back through the poems of 2024 and found these two I missed. I'm glad I looked back! :-) smiles ~ Blessings Bill
Login to Reply
Greenhough Avatar
Hilda Greenhough
Date: 3/30/2024 4:06:00 PM
Thank you, Bill.
Date: 1/9/2024 6:49:00 PM
Hilda, I did not know where this was going at the start. I thought it would be more kind and soothing for the characters. But it's also true that many lie trapped in relationships that they could either fix or get out of. It's a shame how all this bad stuff happens in real life to so many people. I enjoyed reading this very much and will think about it for a while this evening. It's mediation for me--a big TY!!!
Login to Reply
Greenhough Avatar
Hilda Greenhough
Date: 1/9/2024 6:58:00 PM
A rosy poet I'm not. Thank you for reading and rereading.
Date: 1/9/2024 4:20:00 PM
great storytelling, Hilda...such a relevant and timely topic. Such harsh realties unfold in a relationship and the theme of 'no longer having anything in common' is one I hear a great deal. The feeling of being caught in a marital trip is such a helpless feeling filled with quiet anguish. Well done, Sara
Login to Reply
Greenhough Avatar
Hilda Greenhough
Date: 1/9/2024 5:39:00 PM
Thank you for reading it. I seem to write with a jaundiced eye.
Date: 1/8/2024 9:58:00 PM
Hilda I know many couples married young and as the years pass it begins to seem their partner has mysteriously been replaced by a stranger, with whom they aren't the slightest bit compatible. It may be hard to stay, but will it be even harder to go ? Your poem is epic and so relatable. Its wonderfully written. Love it.
Login to Reply
Greenhough Avatar
Hilda Greenhough
Date: 1/9/2024 6:55:00 AM
Thank you. It is unfortunate when a busy life doesn't leave time to account the future.
Date: 1/8/2024 10:05:00 AM
Excellebt writem Hiilda, Telationships are all varied, you made this one quite clear! Pangie
Login to Reply
Greenhough Avatar
Hilda Greenhough
Date: 1/8/2024 10:15:00 AM
Thank you. I'm always uplifted when I hear of the beautiful, perfect marriages. We remain human.
Date: 1/8/2024 10:04:00 AM
You have crafted an exquisitely distinctive and captivating poem, Hilda. Its profound nature resonates deeply. It is challenging to empathize with the individual who fails to perceive its beauty, suggesting a need for introspection.
Login to Reply
Greenhough Avatar
Hilda Greenhough
Date: 1/8/2024 10:14:00 AM
Thank you.
Date: 1/8/2024 7:38:00 AM
Oh my, this is such a poignant write, dear Hilda.. Your storytelling is absolutely captivating here.. I feel sad for their situation, when love fades and materialistic appearance begins to matter more than inner elegance of the soul.. The feelings don't remain pure, thereafter.. Sigh. This poem evoked so many emotions.. Beautifully crafted, dear.. Sending light and love ~
Login to Reply
Greenhough Avatar
Hilda Greenhough
Date: 1/8/2024 7:51:00 AM
Thank you for your comment. You can imagine several plots, but for reasons unsaid, he is trapped. Marriage is a contract. Beware.
Date: 1/8/2024 1:24:00 AM
A very intriguing poem Hilda. It's difficult to feel sorry for the guy as if he can't still see the beauty then he needs a word with himself - it's possible to see beauty despite aging. I'm glad she still has a spring in her step despite tolerating him. A sad story though, of course. Well written.
Login to Reply
Greenhough Avatar
Hilda Greenhough
Date: 1/8/2024 7:18:00 AM
What you said is true. Thank you for reading and commenting.
Date: 1/8/2024 1:15:00 AM
He was in for a surprise, I like the way you crafted this write, outer beauty fades but inner beauty remains
Login to Reply
Greenhough Avatar
Hilda Greenhough
Date: 1/8/2024 7:13:00 AM
Sometimes we have one or the other or neither. I'm so happy you liked my poem
Date: 1/8/2024 12:18:00 AM
Its a situation we often see , stuck in a place where there is no escape from the reality that could hurt both, you do storytelling very well dear hilda. Pleasure reading this poignant and heartfelt poem. I love your rhymes. A fave for me this is
Login to Reply
Greenhough Avatar
Hilda Greenhough
Date: 1/8/2024 7:11:00 AM
Thank you. Your comment honors me.
Date: 1/7/2024 11:16:00 PM
Lost love is so common. Loved the way you almost said it but did not. Will they meet in five days?
Login to Reply
Greenhough Avatar
Hilda Greenhough
Date: 1/8/2024 7:10:00 AM
Unfortunately, they are married. Yes. Thank you for your comment.
Date: 1/7/2024 7:10:00 PM
Resonant of our times, Hilda. Well done, even if I'd rather it didn't happen as often as it does. Bravo, Gershon
Login to Reply
Greenhough Avatar
Hilda Greenhough
Date: 1/7/2024 7:12:00 PM
Thank you again for reading my poems. I feel sorry for both of the persons in this poem.

Book: Reflection on the Important Things