Clarence Billheimer | + Follow Poet |
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Child I'M There

CHILD I’M THERE

There was a time when all I did came natural to me,
But then I started thinking how perfect it must be.
So many who would see my work would need to see the best,
And so I tried the hardest then and didn’t get much rest.
I felt compelled by those who watched and told me what to do;
The goals for me seemed to be set so far above my view.
Whatever things that I would do were never good enough;
Of all the critics I might have, I was the one most tough.
And as I tried to better be, I found more awful flaws;
I threw myself into distress--it seemed a hopeless cause.
A vicious circle now, it seemed, I found myself inside
Just trying harder every day, and yet being denied.
About the time I felt the load I could no longer bear,
It seemed I heard a quiet voice who whispered, “Child, I’m there.”
He surveyed all I’d tried to do and all at which I’d fail,
And yet throughout the awful mess, His grace did still prevail.
He wasn’t like the other ones, not even then like me,
Not looking for the flaws and scars and blemishes to see.
Just looking for all that I had that He could somehow use
And how through haste I left that all, another course to choose.
As through His love He led me then back, back to the days gone by;
I saw the time so long ago when it was Him, not I.
When I allowed Him to be there performing works through me,
The flaws and errors I would make nobody else would see.
For He would take and fix them up as long as He controlled,
But when I took it on myself, I ruined every goal.
I think I learned a lesson then as I again began
Not trying now in self alone to follow on life’s plan,
Not trusting in my righteousness, my talents, or my skill,
But trusting in my Savior’s name and living in His will.
Oh, yes, as human all alone I know I’ll failures wear,
But I won’t struggle fruitlessly, the heavy cross to bear;
I’ll put my hand in His each day, I’ll feel His love and care,
And hear that quiet voice again as He says, “Child, I’m there.”

Copyright © Clarence Billheimer | Year Posted 2017

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