Child Drinks and Drives
Child Drinks And Drives
(Parents Plead 5th. Beat the 5)
Mommy and daddy are going to jail you know
5 is too young to let your baby drink and drive on roads
Something went wrong along the highway of life
The child was not lucid enough for Officer Johnny
Who pulled the kid over, doing 50 in a 30 mph zone
“Where you off to kid?” He inquired
The lad picked his nose and said, “Want some?”
The law asked the youth, “You been drinking boy?”
The lad responded, “Mommy said you’re a pig.”
The pig…I mean Officer of the peace shouted out
License, registration, insurance card please!
You know the rest
Arrested on the spot by Mr. Prissy Cop
The toxicology test came back 2 weeks later
The child had been drinking at a bar
Snack bar, and had consumed chocolate milk & a candy bar
(Permit included)
Mom and pop are still off to jail
Derailed by other charges
Child endangerment, negligence
And simply being born prevailed
They will fight it though
This is America you know.
They will plead insanity, afluenza, (let’s say they’re rich)
And dehydration if it fits
This is a wonderful land we live in
And in the end they’ll take the 5th
Then take the brat home for a beating
That’s the least they do
For eating and drinking and stealing car keys
*(He will be punished in accordance with a nationally approved government sponsored beating program naturally. Similar to IRS corrective measures applicable for all citizens.)
Copyright © Earl Schumacker | Year Posted 2014
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