Check Mate

Check mate I win again...

How funny I aways lose....

Shameful aren't you

A piece you

 never

Get back....

How unprincipled...

A petty game

Though blameworthy

(Partially)....

How about a new

Game

No....

Im afraid once

something

Is truly lost

you can never get it back
Copyright © | Year Posted 2016

Poem

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Macmillan Avatar
January 22, 2016 at 9:39 AM
Hi. I like the tone, very much. My suggestions are to play with line breaks and increase the word play. Maybe, lose a lose at least one ellipsis and try changing word order to see what that does? Here is an example, " Checkmate, I win//again. Funny How I always lose. Shameful, aren't you, a piece// (remanded), never to be (reclaimed)//" I'm not telling you to do THIS, but if unhappy with your poem, then try to change something, and see what that does. Welcome to Soup.
Sway Avatar
January 22, 2016 at 10:04 AM
thank you so much ill try your sugggestion
Sway Avatar
January 21, 2016 at 10:30 PM
how can i improve this poem
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