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Chaff vs Wheat - Relief

a saraband

Your tirade comes, it doth commence,
a hundred miles away I sense
your raging, whiny voice so tense.
In restful tones, my evening sigh
doth thank these stars, you’re in L.A.
I shirk my duties ever nigh
and thoughts engage where'er they may.

As I recline, dark quickly falls
and in my dreams, I snub your calls.
Yet when I wake, receding walls
resound your dire return to home.
I sense both hearts long to be free.
Go claim L.A., just let me roam
these miles that winnow thee from me.


Copyright © | Year Posted 2013




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Date: 9/5/2013 8:56:00 AM
You had me hooked with the first two lines, which were insanely good, and the rest of the piece just flowed fluidly from there. It has both an "old" feel to it yet you make it modern with the city references. Hard to blend those two (for me, at least), but you executed it excellently. What else can I say?: this is just an awesome piece. Going into my faves :)
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Date: 4/8/2013 6:28:00 PM
yes, it was just chance I noticed. Like right now seeing this what you said to me afterwards. WE don't get notifications of these things.
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Date: 4/4/2013 8:18:00 PM
hahaha, I see I am not the only one you are asking that question to about the replies. I see you asking it to Donna down here below me. How many ever responded to you?
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Date: 4/4/2013 8:16:00 PM
hmmm, I can relate to this one sometimes. Great way to do that particular challenge. I really ought to try that one. But I think it looks very difficult and I am lazy. I could write about how lazy I always feel!!! haha
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Date: 3/29/2013 11:51:00 AM
Wouldn't want to be there either! Loved your poem...
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