Certain Uncertainty

I'm too nervous to resurface,
it's not that I'm worthless
or don't want to work for this,
my motive sits motionless.

Can I bring it to your attention 
I need an intervention
to save me from selfish behavior,
a salvation of circumstances
serving me chances to be my own saviour,
challenging this circling hell that prances 
unnerving me a certain future
of out of service hope and mischance
where I can't sense my humour.

I'm not stood with hands out
looking for handouts,
I just need that first time wind up 
to get the engine ticking
and give reserves corrupt
and vigorous in control of my mind a good kicking.

It's as though I'm not the one that drives
this life I ride,
it's as though I'm not one with any drive,
a life without pride,
but I believe I can once again strive
if I find my stride,
I will breathe and bleed myself alive,
I might be lost but I've not died.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2019

Poem

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