Cats Eye View

Now kicked off the warm spot on the bed where I had been it's time to watch my owner going through his dawn routine. Mouth wide in a quiet miaow, I can almost see his supper Brown stain dribble on his chin from that last midnight cuppa. Limbs stretched out to form a star, claws clenched then slowly flexing, eyes blink, lips smack in concert , it all seems to me perplexing. Comes off the bed at right angles, half stumbling half rolling puts on two covers for his paws and one has a big hole in. Pulls up the outside skin over his legs and bum as well don't know what for – it doesn't stop that noise and funny smell. Top skin now on, one button wrong, it's twisted at the neck and finally his outer paws in gruesome tartan check. Walks slowly to the little room, that noise comes out the back for animals with a nose like mine, he's so easy to track. Door shuts, more noise then water splashing, then electric hum all accompanied by tuneless 'dum-ti-dum-ti-dum' Finally he waddles out and smiles, expects applause? Not from me, mate, I'm spruced up from just using my paws. Now wide alert he bounds downstairs, an energetic new man, Stuff all of that, it's too much grief- who'd want to be a human?