Cats Are Creepy
This morning while sucking a morning cig,
I heard a ruffling in the leaves,
And looked to see a cat holding a twig,
With one paw, while the other licked its sleaves.
I looked at it and it looked at me,
And I was like "Hey what the eff are you doing?"
To which the cat responded and peed,
"Lookin' for a spot where I'll be pooing."
"Get lost!" I said to the freakish cat,
"Don't you do that in a box?"
To which he retorted with fodder's splat:
"I guess I'm unorthodox."
The cat was still holding that tiny stick,
That cat must have had some thumbs,
And I said "What, is the stick for a magic trick?"
And then he called me "Human scum."
Still not knowing what was up with the branch,
The creepy cat held with his right paw,
I thought "Send this creepy ass cat to the ranch,"
And then the cat began to look at me with awe.
It looked at me with widened eyes,
So I asked "What are you looking at?"
To which he responded with eyes full-sized:
"Not much."
Copyright © Beej Simrov | Year Posted 2017
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