Can'T Stop

i cannot stop thinking of the thought of us being friends again. i can't stop thinking of the thought of us speaking to eachother for the first time since forever. well forever to me. i cant stop wishing things could go back to spring two thousand nine. oh how great that was. i miss you i really do. but you hurt me, betrayed me. maybe i did the same to you. i dont know. well the thing is i do not ever want to feel like i did when you finally let go. gosh. it was the worst. sad. i think i would be worse if i witnessed how i acted. then you talked to me after i devasting tragedy halted the grief over losing you. i thought that would be the end of everything. us back to best friends. i was wrong. all we did was hurt eachother more. coming to the conclusion of ending all ties with you. maybe that is best. i do not know yet. maybe perhaps in a few years i'll know that is if do not run into you. i will stop thinking.