Can'T Get a Girl

His name was Johnny. He looked like any other teenager of his generation. Hair longer than the norm, a bit of acne, favourite band t-shirts and a love of beer. He didn't smoke, do drugs or fight. But he liked speed and drove his cheap second hand cars fast. Too fast, so there were numerous crashes. Like a phoenix, Johnny emerged unscathed and thought he was invulnerable and bought another banger. There had been only one girlfriend during his teen years. She was a skinny girl called Dawn. They only kissed and never had sex. Years later he learnt she was gay. Was he the reason? He did wonder. In the years before her, Johnny was forced to experiment. He could only get a thrill with his mates. They tossed one another off while hiding behind the garages. It sure felt good but not like a girl doing it. And it ed Johnny's head up. The bullies always targeted Johnny, from age 4 to 18. So much abuse, unreal pain. He became good with his hands and mind. But the damage was done. No one was there to help him. Not even his dear mum. Those were the reasons why he jumped off the huge bridge into the river. They never found his body, only a note to his mum explaining why he had to leave. Johnny's forlorn death left a jungle of illusions.