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Cannibalism

Raped and left for dead Tears still running down her eyeless head Screaming her heart out Which has been removed and stacked into my mouth I only need my grinding teeth to make you paste Shut the hell up and let me eat you in haste

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Joel Thornton

Date: 12/18/2014 12:00:00 AM

NICE!! I love this ! Great Shut up and let me eat you in haste!~LOL ~Joel

Louis Nathaniel

Date: 12/17/2014 11:37:00 PM

The second to last line gives a strong image, but if I may, perhaps inserting a "my" before "grinding teeth" makes for a better flow? When I originally read it, I read it as if there were a "my" there. Well done. Pretty damn dark too, I like it.

Fred Lariviere
Date: 12/17/2014 11:45:00 PM

glad you like it! I wrote this a couple years back, i was 16 or 15 at the time, disturbing for that but i like the work ive done in those times. My native language is not english so i will gladly look into what you proposed! Thanks!