Can You Hold It

Flying to the SOUTHWEST is so AMERICAN by far. Then something from your DELTA makes you wish you had driven a car. Toilets front and back the passengers are UNITED by a common cause, you’re never allowed to stand in the aisle just waiting for a pause. Sitting way back in coach and not allowed to use 1st class, God help you if your colon accelerates the manufacture of gas. The first and last 6 rows are predestined to go in first. By the time you get in there, cleanliness is the worst. Thank God you’re a guy, even so at 6 foot four, no sitting down because your knees will jam the door. The edge of the toilet seat hits you way below your knee. Wall angles preclude standing, never mind seeing how to pee! Even if you were lucky to sit down on this very low seat, your’ butt will stick to the rim, skin is so sweaty from the heat. Sitting or standing, you’d be lucky to make a timely deposit. In it or on it, there’s no way to tell……Where was it? You push the flush button and the vacuum is strong and loud. You realize if still sitting you’d be stuck airtight and drawing a crowd. Using an airplane toilet only once will surely make you scream or cry. Finding a comfortable one will never happen, don’t even try. Unless your’ personal demographics are 4’ 8” and you weigh a 100 pound. Just hope “YOU CAN HOLD IT” and go later, once on the ground. *For the choose one, have fun contest. The subject is "FLYING."