Can Say That

They talk about suicide prevention and awareness and I just stare messed how can I preach when I survived my peace, by chance, isolated and overdosed resuscitated by those close, pure chance, I took enough to die, a lot not a few, the whole packet if I’m honest with you, I sat alone gave no clue no suspicion no one knew, my dad arrived when he wouldn’t normally, random not ordinary, if I lived 10,000 days there’d be three or four where he’d appeared that day, I said if I die I die if I live I live I fight, never believed I’d stay alive, odds were stacked I wanted to die, any other day it would have been my life, I survived so I fight, but it hurts me inside thinking of him saving my life, said he couldn’t wake me however hard he tried, went on for long he said he thought I was gone, worst feeling he’d felt came on, desperation saw him violently shake me, and in that moment out the black did wake me, I put my life in fates hands and fate gave those hands to my dad, how can I tell you not to do what I have? I survived and I’m sad for my dad, suicide is pain you can never take back and if you aren’t living you can’t tell that