Camel Cigs
Warning…a disturbing poem…you have been warned!
I remember he smoked those camel cigs…
Protecting the cats from harm and kept them warm
I remember he mistreated me — the morose maltreatment of a memory bites hard on me like teeth against rotten, forgotten figs
Conjuring the sinister demons and beauty-haloed angels in my mind in a swarm
Stars of tar and a tobacco moon strikes in my enlightened heart so bright
Twinkling with delightful might tonight
Like fireworks that burst in my marveled mind from afar
Don’t shoot me a farewell yet until I leave California, headed up to Arizona with this family car
I’m high off of the high and low hopes
I cope with this with the strength I got a lot…and I run from these
Thoughts of bittersweet ropes,
Wept away this mess of hopelessness in a breeze at ease
Smoke flies in the air
Without a care, a flare
Of feisty spirits brew
Despair came out of the blue
Didn’t know it at the damn time, at the time
My innocence wore me thin as a single string…producing an epic sting
Hung myself in the youth of my prime
My vulnerability is as thick as a bat’s wing and everything
Waiting for You to set me free,
Praying to bring me no more misery
Bring me back my happiness
Sing to me your honest bliss…preying upon positivity amiss
He smoked me out like a cigarette of regret
He smoked me out
Without a doubt
It’s about me and I’m about
To choose God’s route
Instead of shout and pout
Maybe I miscued myself throughout the years
Maybe I abused myself with these inner tears
It appears my fears fall away
Like autumn leaves of a summer sway
I remember he smoked those camel cigs…
God carried me away from harm’s way like a barnyard full of pigs
I squeal in solemn solitude
I reveal to you the stories behind my illuminated, isolative interlude
Smear the atmosphere
With the rivers of Aphradere
Steer away the guilt inside
By unveiling the utopian pride…
The innocence is back to haunt me now…
Somehow, I must run away; anyhow,
How have you been?
Have you been lost again?
Like me, myself and I?
I’m alive as our memories…slowly…die…
Crumbling away like summer biscuits in the ever-piling trash
Drunk off of your grief for years I think, thoughts of you swirling like cigarette ash
Departure is hard to fathom, difficult to attain in one sitting
The enigma of losing you makes me feel numb unremitting
Like this crumb of deception on the floor
Your drastic denial of everything
Makes me think you’re still facing tribulations I’m not aware of
I don’t know you, so bro, bring me a reason to sing
It’s oh so complicated…
I and you feel so jaded
I was there while you were faded
Witnessed your tears fall silently, beating yourself up…betrayal of self is unfortunately instigated for now, not as anticipated
No wonder you’re hated like wasted opportunity that needs a fix,
Yet loved by all of us…
Just quit smoking those nasty, nostalgic cancer sticks
Before you miss life’s bus
You polluted me with painstaking pigmentation of pornographic pleasure
You reminded me endlessly that I’m forlorn and I’m torn into pieces beyond measure
Endure…you’ll find me with peace restored and rain of merciful redemption a-pour
Then, I’ll find the cure
To this heartache
A past so impure…it’s unreal to the core
Stoned with emptiness
Making positively good progress however
I recall the camel cigs he smoked thirstily on the porch night after night
Scorch me with the enflamed wick of the candlelight, so bright with delightful might
Until he touched the flame
Goodnight to your denial blame
I came undone in your grasp, not-so-gaily
Hallow and alone, I bet you truly relapse daily
I regret you unruly were on your own
It was shown in your unstoppable, oceanic eyes of stone
Save me from his snares…the nightmares of dire devastation
His bees-trap of bewilderment, his drugged-up slurs
His remnants of scattered stares of longing talons of devouring disconsolation
His voice of vanity and lips of profanity triggers me and injures me until my vision blurs…
Molesting me in all aspects of life
Fed up with angst and bred with strife
He entered inside my realm of…
Nevermind — him and I still have Philadelphia love
Post Comments
Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.
Please
Login
to post a comment
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a
Premium Membership.
