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Warning…a disturbing poem…you have been warned! I remember he smoked those camel cigs… Protecting the cats from harm and kept them warm I remember he mistreated me — the morose maltreatment of a memory bites hard on me like teeth against rotten, forgotten figs Conjuring the sinister demons and beauty-haloed angels in my mind in a swarm Stars of tar and a tobacco moon strikes in my enlightened heart so bright Twinkling with delightful might tonight Like fireworks that burst in my marveled mind from afar Don’t shoot me a farewell yet until I leave California, headed up to Arizona with this family car I’m high off of the high and low hopes I cope with this with the strength I got a lot…and I run from these Thoughts of bittersweet ropes, Wept away this mess of hopelessness in a breeze at ease Smoke flies in the air Without a care, a flare Of feisty spirits brew Despair came out of the blue Didn’t know it at the damn time, at the time My innocence wore me thin as a single string…producing an epic sting Hung myself in the youth of my prime My vulnerability is as thick as a bat’s wing and everything Waiting for You to set me free, Praying to bring me no more misery Bring me back my happiness Sing to me your honest bliss…preying upon positivity amiss He smoked me out like a cigarette of regret He smoked me out Without a doubt It’s about me and I’m about To choose God’s route Instead of shout and pout Maybe I miscued myself throughout the years Maybe I abused myself with these inner tears It appears my fears fall away Like autumn leaves of a summer sway I remember he smoked those camel cigs… God carried me away from harm’s way like a barnyard full of pigs I squeal in solemn solitude I reveal to you the stories behind my illuminated, isolative interlude Smear the atmosphere With the rivers of Aphradere Steer away the guilt inside By unveiling the utopian pride… The innocence is back to haunt me now… Somehow, I must run away; anyhow, How have you been? Have you been lost again? Like me, myself and I? I’m alive as our memories…slowly…die… Crumbling away like summer biscuits in the ever-piling trash Drunk off of your grief for years I think, thoughts of you swirling like cigarette ash Departure is hard to fathom, difficult to attain in one sitting The enigma of losing you makes me feel numb unremitting Like this crumb of deception on the floor Your drastic denial of everything Makes me think you’re still facing tribulations I’m not aware of I don’t know you, so bro, bring me a reason to sing It’s oh so complicated… I and you feel so jaded I was there while you were faded Witnessed your tears fall silently, beating yourself up…betrayal of self is unfortunately instigated for now, not as anticipated No wonder you’re hated like wasted opportunity that needs a fix, Yet loved by all of us… Just quit smoking those nasty, nostalgic cancer sticks Before you miss life’s bus You polluted me with painstaking pigmentation of pornographic pleasure You reminded me endlessly that I’m forlorn and I’m torn into pieces beyond measure Endure…you’ll find me with peace restored and rain of merciful redemption a-pour Then, I’ll find the cure To this heartache A past so impure…it’s unreal to the core Stoned with emptiness Making positively good progress however I recall the camel cigs he smoked thirstily on the porch night after night Scorch me with the enflamed wick of the candlelight, so bright with delightful might Until he touched the flame Goodnight to your denial blame I came undone in your grasp, not-so-gaily Hallow and alone, I bet you truly relapse daily I regret you unruly were on your own It was shown in your unstoppable, oceanic eyes of stone Save me from his snares…the nightmares of dire devastation His bees-trap of bewilderment, his drugged-up slurs His remnants of scattered stares of longing talons of devouring disconsolation His voice of vanity and lips of profanity triggers me and injures me until my vision blurs… Molesting me in all aspects of life Fed up with angst and bred with strife He entered inside my realm of… Nevermind — him and I still have Philadelphia love

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