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Call the Midwife

The vicar surveyed her wide girth 
Was scared that in church she’d give birth 
He raised his eyebrows 
Then rushed through their vows ...
He wasn’t adept at childbirth!

Inspired by the poem ‘Decision Needed’ by Maurice Rigoler



13TH April 2016

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Jean Murray Date: 4/19/2016 3:35:00 PM I was at an open air concert of Imelda May, an Irish artist in her last trimester. I was ready and waiting for her waters to burst. Front row. Well done Jan. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 4/19/2016 3:45:00 PM Oh Wow doesn't she have an awesome voice - sounds like you were ready and waiting my friend:-) hugs Jan xx

Joanna Daniel Date: 4/17/2016 10:34:00 AM You are great at limericks Jan:) Can you pls give me some tips on how to write them? I have one rough one with me but am not sure whether it'll qualify as a limerick... T.J referred me to you:) Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 4/17/2016 1:07:00 PM Soupmail it me Jo - I will be glad to help if I can - I still get assistance when I can't get the meter to flow well:-) hugs Jan xx

James Inman Date: 4/16/2016 7:42:00 AM Funny Jan! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 4/16/2016 8:45:00 AM Many thanks James:-)hugs Jan xx

Andrea Dietrich Date: 4/13/2016 3:53:00 PM VERY good one, Jan. That humorous book of yours is gonna have so many great witty poems in it. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 4/13/2016 3:54:00 PM I can thank Maurice for this one Andrea lol:-) hugs jan xx

Liam Mcdaid Date: 4/13/2016 3:09:00 PM Made me smile excellent pen Jan wishing you a blessing of a week pal Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 4/13/2016 3:12:00 PM Thanks Liam always a delight to see your smiling face on my page - hope you are keeping well - do write soon with Anne Lise she is in need of cheering up at the moment:-) hugs Jan xx

Nette Onclaud Date: 4/13/2016 2:46:00 PM omg, i am floored, jan... in stitches now, hopefully not by cesarean surgery !.. huggs and mail in a while!.. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 4/13/2016 2:49:00 PM LOL Nette - I can thank Maurice Rigoler for the inspiration from his poem 'decision needed' and he was kind enough to allow me to post this poem :-) hugs Jan xx Jan Allison Date: 4/13/2016 2:49:00 PM I guess she could have had a MUCH bigger bouquet too lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Daver Austin Date: 4/13/2016 1:04:00 PM I understand the vicar wasn't presiding at the shotgun wedding. Great limerick. I wish I could write one, but no talent. Love, daver Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 4/13/2016 2:05:00 PM I think you are very talented Daver - gee i had no knowledge of writing until I joined soup:-) hugs Jan xx

Charmaine Chircop Date: 4/13/2016 11:06:00 AM Lol...Hilarious..though not so much for the vicar : ).Loved it Jan. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 4/13/2016 11:49:00 AM Thanks Charma:-) hugs jan xx

Charlie Smith Date: 4/13/2016 10:39:00 AM Immaculate contractions, I assume... Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 4/13/2016 11:49:00 AM ha ha ha:-) hugs Jan xx

Stephen Pennell Date: 4/13/2016 9:26:00 AM lol : shotgun wedding lol much fun cheers x stephen Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 4/13/2016 9:29:00 AM If she gave birth in church... may be the vicar could do the Christening at the same time lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Maurice Rigoler Date: 4/13/2016 8:26:00 AM Excellent, Jan, with great rhymes too. If extra work went into writing it, it doesn't show at all, smooth as butter. / M Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 4/13/2016 9:07:00 AM Thanks Maurice - but I owe you thanks for letting me have your blessing to write a poem based on your original. I penned the first four lines then I got stuck for the ending ... then inspiration finally hit:-) thanks once again:-) hugs Jan xx