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Caesar Really Was a Decent Bloke

I once knew a bloke
Who hailed from Stoke
He saw me on the street
And so we did greet
But I said to him with much ire
"You're a liar
You call me your chummy
But you hate me mummy"
To the allegation he did respond:
"You are mistaken, of your mum I am fond"
"Nay" said I
"You just like her black pie."
After much thought
To his lips he brought:
"Caesar really was a decent bloke"

I once new a lad
In dog tooth suits he was clad
As I boarded the tube
I yelled "Hey rube!
You slept with my sister 
Explain mister!"
He consternated
And maybe debated 
But he said:
"Caesar really was a decent bloke"

I once knew a sod
Who seemed quite odd
I was watching the Blues
When I said "Those are my shoes!
Explain saucy knave!"
He replied: "To me your girlfriend gave
After that
Unforgettable spat"
"That's a false report!"
I said in retort
To which he said:
"Genghis really was a decent bloke"

"Don't you mean Caesar"  I said
Reply:  "Forgive me cabbage head
I have no abode with which to rest my node
Be gone with you
I have two 
That'll make you stew
If you don't shut your gob
Don't talk of Caesar my name is Bob!"

One day
On my parlay
Through Southhampton way
I was confronted
By a man with head bunted
To me he said
"I wish you were dead
200 pounds you owe me"
I shrugged at the fee
But did reply
"Caesar really was a decent bloke"

Copyright © Andrew Plath | Year Posted 2007

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