By Accident

I spilled some wine on my blind date’s shirt. He was vulgar and nothing like a gent. Oh what a crying shame. Guess I spilled that wine by accident. A store clerk rolled her eyes when I asked to pay by cash. So I paid her cent by cent by cent by cent. Later “found” my credit card and quarters. The pennies had been just “by accident.” The landlord took three weeks to fix our heater. Coincidentally, I was three weeks late with rent. Somehow I’d forgotten to pay on time. Yes, it must have been by accident. A greedy salesman pushed for more than I wanted. A full hour later, I said, “My money’s all already spent. You must have found me gullible by accident?” I told a tech guy that I’d called for help that I couldn’t understand his accent. And my telling that to him, my friends, for sure was something that was not by accident.