Butt Full of Buckshot

He works for the NFL and he is a famous coach. He shoots my bottom for going on his land to poach. I go on his land to shoot some raccoons and deer. But getting a fanny full of buckshot drives me to tears. I was about to kill a buck when I was approached by a skunk. I had to take six baths to get rid of the odor because I really stunk. When people go on his land to poach, he grabs his shotgun. He shoots everybody's buttocks, he even shot his own son. He's outside right now with his shotgun and he's waiting for me to approach. If I want to be able to sit down, I'd better find a different place to poach.