Broken Spinal Cord

I got my butt kicked by a man who has very big muscles. I was moving in on his girlfriend who is built like Jane Russell. He grabbed me by the throat and slammed me against a brick wall. My spinal cord was damaged and I can no longer walk, I have to crawl. People can't believe what they see when I have to go shopping. They're shocked when they see me crawl, their jaws keep dropping. I did try to steal his girl so maybe I deserve what I got. But if you think I took it lying down, I sure as hell did not. I sued him and the judge awarded me everything that he had. Now he has to wear a barrel for clothes and that's just too bad. He's so poor that a can of green beans is something that he can't even afford. But maybe next time he'll know better than to break somebody's spinal cord.