tethys Abu-Judom Poet Free verse

broken mirror, glass shards, cool scars

you don't have to change to be happy,
you just need to be someone else.

you get to choose the character, the celebrity
adopt their qualities & style your hair.
jump in their old VW bus you never had,
drive to a place you know you'll probably never go.
pretend you can drive.
pick up a cd you've heard them talk about,
realize you don't have their taste.

take a vow of silence, ride in the backseat.
always be holding a book, or crossing your arms.
do you think they like to draw? do they fold straw wrappers into childish origami?
realize how little you know, make stuff up.
the heat of the car makes it hard to be someone else,
the sun is giving you tan lines they never had
are you changing, just by being awake?

if you cut your hair, you'll regret it. 
don't give away your old clothes, just buy more.
the last page of the book you're about to pick up will remain unread.
go to the library anyways.
don't go back to the hospital,
don't suffer in an unromantiziable way.

you don't need to be someone else,
you just need to have been born better.
the way you walk could be less awkward, but you can't change it now.
if you were born with a different nose,
a brighter smile,
a thirst for knowledge,
then you could be you. then you could be happy.
but that's not who you are. & there's nothing anyone can do about it.

you feel less stuck when you're outside, reading.
your favorite music makes you wide-eyed.
spend time laughing at stupid jokes,
use your too-loud camera in public,
get lost in a store, get scolded, get a new lip balm

you don't have to be someone else, 
you don't even need to be happy.
but you have lungs that fill, at least.

you still wish you weren't you.

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