Broken

I can't fix who or what I am, this conflict within myself I know not from where it stems. I cannot love another if all I know is hate and sadness, when I lay down mental anguish turns to madness. Not ever knowing control within a broken mind. Disguising my anger and sadness with foolish lies, only to meet my own demise. Fooling myself for what I thought I wanted to be, there is no end in sight, I will never be free. Free to hold a smile and mean it, some day's, this life I want to quit. I've destroyed a good soul, and I deserve to rot in a hole. It was not on purpose, for I know not what I do, only when you tell me, I am the fool. Maybe one day I'll have a high self esteem but until then my mind will shout and scream.

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Sharon Winter

Date: 9/27/2008 5:34:00 PM

Just read your blog. Sorry for all you have been through and are going through. Hard to enjoy someone's good poetry when you know the pain is real. Keep writing it out, you are a great poet, and it is a healing and therapeutic outlet. A close friend once told me, good poetry either comes from inspiration or desperation. I think that is often true. Good luck. Love, shar

Steven Mcmorrow

Date: 9/22/2008 7:03:00 PM

i liked it. i can relate to this poem. therefore i think it is pretty awesome. lol good work though man.

Sue Mason

Date: 9/18/2008 11:58:00 AM

This too shall pass .... this life of Hello's and Goodbye's has only to do with Love and being loving. We are always "free" to live, learn from our mistakes and move on. Your conscience is wonderful and alive or you wouldn't have come to PoetrySoup with your words ... smile ... you'd just be "acting out" somewhere. Great job here, Jon B. and hope to read a lot more of your world!!