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Breaking Into Dawn

A millstone is around my neck and all that I can see is murkiness below me as I'm dragged to depths of sea. Disillusionment is oozing in this ocean of my plight; no rainbow fish to dart about and make the water bright. I’m being pulled toward something like from my darkest dreams - A place to lose one's very soul. . . a nothingness it seems. But now there up above me a distant light I view. And also I can barely see a tinge of rose and blue. The void below me crouches, and I'm conscious of the rope that binds my feet, but also I can feel my growing hope. For, through the ocean's skin, there is peeping down at me Hope in all her radiance; she shines with clarity! Rays of reassurance now gleam through gloom's descent. Prospect seems to call to me as if from heaven sent. I marvel as the millstone and the ropes all fall away. Released, I’m rising up and up to that golden ray. Bursting to exhale, I feel myself ascending fast. Refreshment of sweet oxygen I know I'll taste at last! A final surge; the coral glow of breaking day I see. I'm breaking water's surface; splendid dawn embraces me!

Copyright © | Year Posted 2010




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Date: 2/24/2011 11:51:00 AM
"A milestone is around my neck"I have read this same sentence in another poem of you,can't remember which one!Beautiful write---kash
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Date: 7/17/2010 12:36:00 AM
Thank you for your comments, lovely lady! This is such a refreshing poem. I can SMELL everything, and I love when a poem makes me do that. :) -G
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Date: 7/16/2010 8:17:00 PM
Like I said on your blog I enjoyed that one the best,,this is a great poem in it own rights, the rhyme is wonderful even though as you say does not meet requirements, I have been in this dilema myself after reading so many different contests rules ,I got confused,,I enjoyed reading this and the other one as well, I always love to read your words as well as all the others here at the soup,,yours and others inspire me, just like all the contests here...Blessings..Cecil
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Date: 7/16/2010 7:29:00 PM
Awesome, Andrea! What an imagery and a wonderful rise to freedom. Thanks for sharing. Caroline.
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Date: 7/16/2010 6:50:00 PM
I reads very well , the only awkward stanza for me is the first but that can be tweaked easily. Really nice poem content-wise as well!
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Date: 7/16/2010 3:08:00 PM
Hi Andrea I can only speak for myself but Life brings us both the good and bad. This poem to me shows me it is up to me to decide If my glass is half full rather than half empty
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Date: 7/16/2010 5:23:00 AM
A really good write charting the journey from despair to hope. I saw your blog & I think you're right to leave this one as it is. It's a great poem in its own right regardless of the contest requirements ~ Sharon :)
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Date: 7/15/2010 10:47:00 PM
Yikes! You know I did same thing with my Senryu Castles In The Sky. I hope that you can fix your poem, I chose to leave mine but then I didn't place in the contest either, but it still was chosen as a favorite:)
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Date: 7/15/2010 8:14:00 PM
Your first and fourth have to rhyme and your second and third rhyme already ..that is the scheme as far as the explanation under forms of poetry and on Dane Ann's contest page.. yikes.. with luv..
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Date: 7/15/2010 8:03:00 PM
Wonderful entry my friend.. but .. go back and hit the enclosed rhyme for form rather than rhyme.. a big difference and don't want this lovely piece to not be considered.. with luv.. good luck...
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Date: 7/15/2010 10:35:00 AM
Was truly a pleasure to be able to read your poetry today Andrea. I hope you have a wonderful inspiration filled day. Love, Carol
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Date: 7/15/2010 8:36:00 AM
Wow what a great way to start my day!~ Love the read! ~ Molly
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Date: 7/15/2010 7:21:00 AM
good luck in the contest, this is very intense, and an excellent read. Harry
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Date: 7/15/2010 6:44:00 AM
Excellent write Andrea! Perfect meter and content. This should place I'm sure. Thank you for your unwavering support for my work.
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Date: 7/15/2010 6:30:00 AM
This poem is intense,its like one of those dreams when I feel pulled downwards,and i see a hand helping me pulling upwards. .I have these type of dreams when i watch horror films.Great entry Andy,C.C
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Date: 7/15/2010 4:56:00 AM
Excellent descriptive and expressive write that is sure to be a winner..Good luck..Sara
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Date: 7/15/2010 3:58:00 AM
Wonderful write! The reader can really sense the tension and the elation in this work. Good luck in the contest. Dan C
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