Breaking Down the Wall
Is this really any way to live?
Just making it through the day by day,
I don't let any other get in my way.
I never even consider finding another to fill the void,
I just allow my heart to die,
I don’t even want to try.
I guess I find it easier to deal with the pain,
I build this mile high wall,
I don't let anyone close enough to even attempt to make it fall.
Some days I just break down with the pain of being alone.
Do I really want to do this all by myself?
Do I really want to keep my emotions bottled up on an unreachable shelf?
Most days I stand up independent and strong,
I do what I have to do to be the person I have to be,
I shrug off the thought that I"m not allowing myself to just be me.
All that I can see is more pain if I let someone in.
I'm so tired of being abused,
I can not ever again go through being used.
I’ve become secluded to save myself from the chance of any more pain.
The emptiness from that seclusion is deafening,
I wish there was a way to just make me forget about everything.
I want a a day of pure emotional freedom,
I want to feel alive again,
I want to get back my dreams and allow my heart to mend.
How can I move on when I’ve can’t even destroy my own emotional protection?
Attempting to knock down the wall just turns my heart into stone,
I just end up feeling even more alone.
I guess for now I'll just continue to live my life.
I'll find a way to get through the day by day.
Maybe I'll allow someone to come along and try to knock down my blockade.
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