Borrow
I went to my neighbors
To ask for a favor
And said may I borrow
Stuff I need tomorrow,
But she stopped me short
With this stunning retort:
“Do you need sugar cane
Drano for a clogged drain
Or perhaps some flour
Or did you lose power.”
I answered, “I just need…”
And she quickly agreed
Saying, “I have some Spam
About twenty-five cans
Cigarettes, mayonnaise
Both purebreds and strays
Magnets, plus insurance
Some ants, plants, and sweatpants
China made in China
Not North Carolina
Ten pair of tie dye shirts
Ten yards of processed dirt
Ten to the tenth power
Of mushrooms in my yurt”
Which all made my head spin
So I tried to butt in
But she instantly asked
“About what kind of mask
That you might need today
One to keep sparks at bay
Or for trick-or-treating
Or surgery hygiene
A briefcase full of Yen
Gray chickens and their pen
A toaster, and dartboard”
I thought, ‘Oh my dear lord’
She then gave me some keys
To an old Mercedes
And before I said ‘Please
Stop this nonsense Louise’
I had her brand new skis
And two wheels of blue cheese
Plus her dear husband’s will
Old tapes of Benny Hill
Plus a trailer, camper
Clean clothes in a hamper
Her live slug collection
Which I shouldn’t mention
She lent me her uncle
I tried saying ‘uncle’
But got two turtledoves
And three chinchilla gloves
She gave me an ulcer
But I couldn’t repulse her
I utterly pleaded
To ask what I needed
But she still went ahead
No matter what I said
Until I yelled ‘I’m done
Though I just wanted one
As I ran out of limes
Now I ran out of time’
She put her stuff aside
And then ran back inside
I still had a few things
Like scissors and ring dings
While the pure breds and strays
Zipped right by in a blaze
She came back and said, ‘I’m
Giving you my last lime
And since you’re out of time
I have plenty in stock.’
I then left with a clock.
Copyright © David Fisher | Year Posted 2025
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