Blurred Vision

I have been through mad different journeys finding my way I know happy days are not faraway if I'm strong enough to see my kids do something more constructive with their time than me I know because I've been there I'm sitting back and looking of how I got here first came the drama with my estranged mother so, I left and told myself I'm going to be that seed that don't need much to succeed I'm a unique breed I have a heart that doesn't bleed already for the world that I thought I was back in 2003 when I caught a bus I was thinking about how short I was going too fast it wouldn't last and I could not tell I found love in an institution I wasn't fully prepared for the task at and so I failed putting me in a situation forcing me to be a man when I just understood a little to be a helping hand damn I wonder why my father just left when my grandmothers chased him away I wonder did he leave without a fight without protest? does he think about me at night that isn't the half stuff got worse as I got older actions became bolder my heart grew colder I didn't need a clique because I didn't trust people that much I used to drink and have nice times just to get by I want to write a book but I'm so messed up...