Blind Force Denial

As I sit here and think about it so many scarred memories, crashing waves are thoughts of fate that have been scorched with denial blinded by a pit of despair, lonlier everyday hiding within myself, hard to face the truth the wheels screech down the road, a narrow path driving insanity circles as I push the gas pedal, I choke on the shambles realizing where I f***ed myself in life but I cant change the past, etched in glass shattered vows, drowning in a sewer my innocence lost, the keys locked inside a tortured mind sold every last integrity dollar after dollar blown away by a gust of advice that disappeared before accepting I put my life on the line, russian roulette foolish character flaw, strength beyond others imagination lit a way out through trials tribulations bleed the same miserable mistakes walking through hell graceful on the tip of an iceberg running barefoot, expectations slip my mind as I fall into temptation wanting to be a hero, beat the devil who twisted my soul into a knot, roasting spit of reflecting truth bears a self-identity acceptance of what I didn’t want to believe who I was, now close to rock bottom, suffering humanity turned away from fighting against losing battles watching people swallow shame blame catches fire through accelerated lies close to a chasm allowing death to come tortured dreams left deep scars, regret I must willingly sacrifice the hypnotized desire for the trance that I didn't need help begging, scraping my knees on an unclean temple floor I created, still willing for hope chasing opportunities to survive a slowly bleeding heart pumping life, thoroughly giving existence awakening a new sense of purpose time to face my own demons aware I will feast no longer on blind survival, slipping through reality anew remains charred; yet, I learned the struggle is real when you cannot commit.