Blind Force Denial
As I sit here and think about it
so many scarred memories, crashing
waves are thoughts of fate
that have been scorched with denial
blinded by a pit of despair, lonlier everyday
hiding within myself, hard to face the truth
the wheels screech down the road,
a narrow path driving insanity circles
as I push the gas pedal, I choke on the shambles
realizing where I f***ed myself in life
but I cant change the past, etched in glass
shattered vows, drowning in a sewer
my innocence lost, the keys locked inside
a tortured mind sold every last integrity
dollar after dollar blown away by a gust
of advice that disappeared before accepting
I put my life on the line, russian roulette
foolish character flaw, strength beyond others
imagination lit a way out through trials
tribulations bleed the same miserable mistakes
walking through hell graceful on the tip
of an iceberg running barefoot, expectations
slip my mind as I fall into temptation
wanting to be a hero, beat the devil who
twisted my soul into a knot, roasting
spit of reflecting truth bears a self-identity
acceptance of what I didn’t want to believe
who I was, now close to rock bottom, suffering
humanity turned away from fighting against
losing battles watching people swallow shame
blame catches fire through accelerated lies
close to a chasm allowing death to come
tortured dreams left deep scars, regret
I must willingly sacrifice the hypnotized
desire for the trance that I didn't need help
begging, scraping my knees on an unclean
temple floor I created, still willing for hope
chasing opportunities to survive a slowly
bleeding heart pumping life, thoroughly giving
existence awakening a new sense of purpose
time to face my own demons aware
I will feast no longer on blind survival, slipping
through reality anew remains charred; yet, I learned
the struggle is real when you cannot commit.
Copyright © Soleia FireBorn | Year Posted 2019
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