Blame Me

Last night, I stared out of the bedroom window As I did, a few long years ago I saw the fading image of a lost sad man Wandering frantically in a twisted limbo Subtlety I asked “why was he in such a chaotic state” He looked at me with anger and said “Blame me… Blame me for my dismal fate” Blame you for what sir? Blame me for not having the courage to make timely decisions and the right choices Blame me for not trusting and following my own judgments, instead of submitting to outside voices Blame me for being too passive when aggression was warranted and truly needed Blame me for losing my self-confidence, my self-esteem and self-respect when my goals appeared defeated Blame me for cracking and breaking under my peers and family’s high expectations Blame me for setting my goals too high -- after all, they were only my dreams and aspirations Blame me for fathering a beautiful little girl without the strings of wedlock Hell blame me for believing she was actually mine, when most likely she’s probably not Blame me for marrying a woman who surrendered her heart and love to another man Blame me for loving her regardless and gracefully accepting her with our relationship as it stands Blame me for starting a family with her knowing of her traitorous deceit Now cast stones at me for tolerating her ongoing hatred of my oldest seed Blame me for not leaving such an unhealthy and toxic relationship Instead, blame me for being infidel and searching elsewhere for love and companionship Blame me for apologizing continuously, trying to work on it and make things better Then blame me for discovering her viperous secret, the affair never ended, they were always still together So now blame me for wanting to know and experience the fruits of a true relationship and what it could possibly be Finally, blame me for discontinuing the games; I am tired, my heart hurts and I am now and forever free I looked with pity as his eyes mirrored that of my own We raised our hands simultaneously and he spoke again in a confident and stern tone “Blame me young man for what you have heard and now experienced Blame me for the one shot at love you lost due to my continued interference Blame me for all of the things that causes you self-pity and personal anger But blame yourself young one, should you allow it to continue and become your permanent anchor”