Notes About The Poem

Blackbird In September

In dream lone blackbird sits on telephone line,
pleading, what more do I have to give. 

Wing once beat out a metronome in time..
leaving thoughts lost through a sieve.

I swore to rebuild our earthen dam,
and hold the waters at bay.

Your dream found a different plan, 
left nothing more to say. 

Race, now long finished, deemed total loss..,
left my prideful soul entreating. 

Waste heart's song diminished, too high the cost,
ask why the day so fleeting.

Last candle's light gleamed in his glowering gaze,
Write journal'd fate, no answer would he belie,
 
September's temper teamed in shortened days,  
to kiss late remember'd lips good-bye.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2019

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Buehler Avatar
February 15, 2020 at 10:41 PM
I found this poem to be poignantly beautiful and memorable, with superb imagery and rhyme. Thanks for sharing, Richard.
Buehler Avatar
February 16, 2020 at 9:47 PM
Thank you, Richard.
Theraven Avatar
February 16, 2020 at 3:11 PM
Evelyn, Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I'm honored & humbled by one who writes with such beauty.,and knows. -Richard
Chiri Avatar
October 26, 2019 at 12:19 AM
I enjoyed this so very much! You know my favorite bird is the raven? Lol yea I fancy it my spirit bird if you will and that is my pen name too! This flowed perfectly and was s fascinating read!;)
Theraven Avatar
November 27, 2019 at 10:54 PM
Brenda, Chalk drawings in the rain last longer. But long enough remembered. -R
Makama Avatar
October 15, 2019 at 11:41 AM
Lines of sweetness, thoughts of goodness, a complete piece, wonderful craft.
Theraven Avatar
October 15, 2019 at 11:12 PM
Funam, Thank you for the comment. I just read your poem 'An Unreachable Diamond In My Nest'. Looking forward to reading more of your emotive poems indeed. -Richard
Ligon Avatar
October 13, 2019 at 4:36 PM
Powerfully written.
Theraven Avatar
October 22, 2019 at 12:02 AM
Juliet, Thank you for this comment. -Richard
Theraven Avatar
October 8, 2019 at 11:09 PM
Thank you to all that have commented. I appreciate you all. Afraid I wore my heart out on my sleeve. This one is personal, so I'm finding it hard to find the words. -Richard
Warrior Avatar
October 8, 2019 at 8:36 PM
Pretty birdie, nice birdie...great poem...all the best QTR...^WW^ :o)
Ravidas Avatar
October 8, 2019 at 10:21 AM
For several years the municipality struggled with crows, and blackbirds began to return to the city. I saw their yellow beaks several times in the forest park near the house. But here is an imaginary bird, a poetic association, as far as I understand. For some reason, I think of King Thrushbeard)
Lamoureux Avatar
October 8, 2019 at 6:10 AM
I watched a blackbird continually drop a nut onto concrete until it broke open. It was interesting seeing it think through the problem. I also was impressed by its perseverance.
Proxenos Avatar
October 7, 2019 at 2:34 PM
Ravens are associated with darkness and mystery, very vengeful birds! There is , a touch of despondency that lingers in this powerful poem - love the lines-'In dream lone blackbird sits on telephone pleading, what more do I have to give .......Your dream had a different plan, left nothing more to say' - Allan Poe's influence noticed here - a famous poet, and literary critic your ending is amazing 'September's temper.......to kiss late remembered lips goodbye' Awesome write Richard, Hugs, Jenn.
La France Avatar
October 4, 2019 at 2:27 PM
So deep and beautifully penned !
Andresen Avatar
October 3, 2019 at 12:42 PM
- I had to read this several times ... not because it was difficult ... but, it gave me so much ... phrases that are deeper than you may not have intended ... really interesting and excellent written, Richard :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
Theraven Avatar
October 3, 2019 at 10:19 PM
Thanks for the interesting comment. -Richard
B. Avatar
October 1, 2019 at 8:51 AM
A wonderful mastetpiece with a touch of melancholy, Quoth.. Really enjoyed your gem.. This is an absolute fav for me.. Have a blessed day!!
Kiser Avatar
September 27, 2019 at 8:25 PM
Powerfully beautiful in scope, had to fav as I love these birds. Magnificent piece.
Krutsinger Avatar
September 27, 2019 at 7:16 AM
Since Connie gave you her favorite part, and it was also my favorite part, I am giving you my NEXT favorite part: "Your dream found a different plan, left nothing more to say. " Wonderful my friend. Trixie and I are both clapping.
Mcintosh Avatar
September 25, 2019 at 10:38 AM
Such a gem - a true poetic write - I hope to read many more of your words. Your words a wonders. God bless you
Marcum Wong Avatar
September 24, 2019 at 6:08 PM
Richard, this gem is simply exquisite! My favorite line "Wing once beat out a metronome in time..". I adored this poem in its entirety! : ) xxoo
DiMino Avatar
September 24, 2019 at 10:19 AM
Great read! Things do not always turn out the way we plan, nor do we get back, seemingly, even a small percent of the body and soul invested in a caring relationship...but there are precious jewels harvested from truly loving and selflessly giving, that even death cannot disparage.
Lindley Avatar
September 22, 2019 at 9:15 AM
I agree wholeheartedly with every comment of praise made on this jewel my friend. Last four verse are icing on the cake and cap this exquisite piece so perfectly.. A fav-- a pure and tantalizing feast of verses.
Pandit Avatar
September 22, 2019 at 8:30 AM
A powerful write my friend..every line is a metaphor that evokes life:..I swore to rebuild our earthen dam, and hold the waters at bay...Race, now long finished, deemed total loss..so well written, Richard!
Theraven Avatar
September 21, 2019 at 3:34 PM
Andrea, Thanks for noting my melancholic doting. Might sound odd to Poe as such..he did revel in between the light & dark. More comfy in the shade anyway. Happy Saturday. -Richard
Dietrich Avatar
September 20, 2019 at 7:01 PM
very poetic and it has that "poe" touch of melancholy to it (which I so admire) WEll done!
Adams Avatar
September 16, 2019 at 5:27 AM
Such a poignant poem that ending is very powerful... one can feel the emotions, you set the scene up perfectly with your stark images... great penning :) hugs
Theraven Avatar
September 14, 2019 at 9:46 PM
Maureen, Thanks for the comment. I've been away from the Soup write,,stuck in the numb. I was just reading your poem 'A Unicorn Walks Into A Bar'. I will be watching the contests..,may luck be yours with ruby red lips..and wiles my fine friend. -Richard
Pigeon Tart Avatar
September 14, 2019 at 9:16 PM
I am struck by how each couplet shines like its very own poem. Captivating piece.
Theraven Avatar
September 21, 2019 at 7:48 PM
Maureen, You know I went back and reread my wordy write. I like words that evoke. But I'll make this promise to never take your sweet 'Rosy Rose rose above the rows of roses'. -Richard
Chiri Avatar
September 14, 2019 at 6:10 PM
Enjoyed this very much! Very descriptive!;)
Theraven Avatar
September 14, 2019 at 10:04 PM
Brenda, I really have to catch up on my reading. Looks like you and Sandra have kept busy. Here's to a brighter tomorrow. -Richard
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace