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Bitter Golden Pill

I'm living life stuck in the past
To see the light where I lived only dark
A marathon like a walk in the park
That's my perspective on the past

A wind chime's song in a hurricane
The greatest pleasure from the deepest pain
And crappy times all feel like blasts

It's a bitter little pill
The kind when you don't swallow fast enough
The taste of advil and a blind man's bluff
And leaves you shaking with the chill

Finding meaning where it's all gone wrong
Doesn't mean much when all of these songs
Repeat forever, ever shrill

I'm in a static wonderland
What could I tell you about this whole year
Beyond the fact that I can't shake these fears
That have me grasped within their hand

You know it's bad when I'm calling for her
The kind of death I can't say I'd prefer
Yet at the moment sounds so grand

So does it matter anyway?
Won't I look back on these blurry days
Far in the future with my heart ablaze
And retread this tired old cliche?

And so tell me, when does this all end?
Cursed forever to repeat these trends
And live eternally in gray

I'm falling deep into the sky
Endless waves of green amongst the blue
Forever reaching out for a redo
And retread all my paths as I

To take advantage of the things I've learned
Repair the bridges that may have been burned
And save ourselves the need to cry

Hello there, I'm you from beyond
Tell me, how's this world of solid gold?
What's it like to never have known cold?
Are you treasuring these bonds?

All the things that I want you to know
I couldn't say before I'd have to go
So know, you live for all I've longed.

Copyright © Derek Chos | Year Posted 2018

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